Proverbs 31:12 She will not hinder him but help him all her life.
How can you help your husband? By being aware of what he is doing, what he needs and wants, and providing for him. Showing your love by being observant and thoughtful.
We can learn from Jesus' actions in Acts 10:38 Then Jesus went around doing good
Perhaps we need to shift our focus and put it on what you can do for your family and husband rather than what they are not doing for you. Shift your focus from being nagging and complaining and instead meet the needs of your family. (notice that I wrote this point in the second person - this was/is a really big ouch point!)